i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a diety. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus
- School: no shoulder-revealing shirts
- Student: why?
- School: you might ferociously anal fist each other in the hallway
COBRA STARSHIP’S WORKING ON A NEW ALBUM
Nothing gives me more anxiety
this ain’t a scene it’s a metaphor
imagine if china, while they’re up on the moon, decides to knock down the US flag or whatever just to say ‘screw you’ and its like, what are we gonna do? spend a couple million just to fly some craft up to the moon and re-erect the flag? the whole scenario would be petty and that’s hilarious
i have lived in america my entire life and i am 100% sure we would do exactly that
In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do
pat pat pat pat
Taylor Swift’s “Taylor Swift” vs. Taylor Swift’s “Red”
who gave you the right
- Anything smaller than a C cup: must be pre-pubescent. Ugly patterns, and colours. Lots of animals and stripes. Training bras. You're 12, right?
- C to D cup: A woman! Pretty lacy things, nice patterns, large variety.
- Anything over a D cup: Beige. Lots and lots of beige.